Harmful phrases that we say without thinking to daughters

It is said that the words we say to our children later become their inner voice. Therefore, when speaking with the children we should weigh every sentence. Let parents treat by words rather than crush self-confidence and encourage to plunge into damaging relationships.

How often parents and especially mother say to her daughter: “He behaves so because he likes you”. If to delve in memory, almost every girl will remember such situation when coming home complained to adults that a classmate or neighbor took her items, pushed her, named not in nice words, and relatives only smiled explaining that “he just shows his sympathy.”

Maybe this time they guessed the boy’s motives, but in such way they sent the wrong message to daughter. Indirectly put into her head, that all delicate feelings are accompanied by the opposite sex abuse (physical or psychological), encourage to keep contact with the perpetrator and suffer silently. One of the consequences can be very sad – adult girl will stuck in harmful relationships with violent partners.

The same applies to adults that still joke “if beats, means love”. Do we really think so, and we want our daughters believe it?

“This is not women affair”. We live in the twenty-first century, when women create spaceships, and men take parental vacation and stay at home to take care of the baby. Separating works or hobbies into “male” and “female”, we press daughters into frames and limit their professional choices in the future.

“I’m thick and ugly”. Not for nothing they say that children are a reflection of parents’ behavior. If mom every day before the mirror will try to hide the abdomen and mask even the smallest wrinkles, do not be surprised that her daughter will negatively talk about her appearance. Only by own example parents can teach to love he body and develop healthy self-confidence.

Do not destroy the life of your child

How often do you get to see the scenes when parents lose their patience in a public place, begin to shout at their child, even shake him twitch. I can never calm look to such scenes. Why such parents “knock out” all the happiness of their child? Why they do not evaluate the short time of child’s life, when can be everything for them? And then we wonder why kids grow up “broken”.

To love your child, nurture him, to play with him – these are tasks which can handle not only the super parents. This may to do all parents. Always, without exception. There is nothing special. I am a mother who loves his child and will do everything that my child always would feel good, safe, that he would be healthy. I’m far from being a perfect mother. But good enough that I would give my kid to understand that in any real life circumstances, he can feel well. Why? Therefore, that I realize what the influence makes a parents to the child’s life and to his self-confidence. I understand that everything what I do and what say, the child absorbs like a sponge – both positive and negative things. I do not understand only one – why so many parents are lost about nurturing and educating their children, why they do not give a right example for their children.

Your face brightens up when you see your child early morning, or when you return from work, even if you feel tired? Do you realize that your child’s moral values are based most on what they see on your face, on your actions, on your words to them? Do you understand that the child considers his self esteem very much based on in what the words you talk about him: never say you are stupid, you are silly, you are bawler, you are an idiot. People very often begin to comply with the given labels, and no one wants that his child would be stupid one. How often do you say to your child that he has done the silliest thing, which could only come up with? This is the most stupid thing you could do to your child. Do you believe that your child is an idiot? But your child believes if you say it to him. Think about it.

Anyone will believe that you cannot back out for 20 minutes from your computer or TV, and to play with the child? It is time to realize that the level of children’s trust in parents depends entirely on the fact how much they are playing with them and how heavily involved in the game process? Do you understand the damage that is done to children, when you do not play with them every day?

Do you believe these stupid and cheap excuses that anger sometimes, maybe often, is necessary for the educational process? Do you understand that anger is an emotion practically always of those people who seek to control others, but cannot control themselves? Do you notice how quickly your child break down and become disobedient, when the anger reigns the family? What you want from your child? That he would absolutely obey you and would fear you?

Do you realize the power of the touch? Do you understand the relationship between you and child when you begin to caress him, hug him, and kiss him before the sleep? Your child is the unique and priceless soul entrusted to your concerns, and feels everything very sensitively. Everything what you say, will be reflected in their abilities, success, happiness and in all future life.

Understand that children make mistakes, many mistakes. Never upbraid of the child’s mistakes or failures. It is easy to humiliate a child. It’s time to tell the kids that you love them. And repeat it constantly. It’s time to enjoy their endless questions, sounding from morning till evening. And the inability to do everything as fast as you would like. Enjoy their facial expressions and incorrectly spoken words. It is time to celebrate everything that makes your children.

It is time to ask yourself what you can do that could become a good parent. Arrange priorities. And indeed become the best parent. It is time to show your sons the example of how to behave with a woman, and your daughters to show what behavior is to be expected from a man. It is time to show generosity, sympathy and compassion. It is time on your example to show children what is a healthy way of life, gender roles, and true social norms. It is time to realize that such label as milksop to the child – it’s insane. Children have their own opinions and do not shove stereotypes to them.

Do not be rude to your sons. Talk quietly with your daughters. What you wish to your child? That a child would have friends in the school and self confidence? Is it elected class president, and he will feel that it is worth more? We can give children tools for social survival.

You must understand what the impact you do to your children when it comes to one thing and doing another? You must help to choose, to teach openly share point of view and to live according to own principles. It is not your affair to tell our children what he should think. But you can help him to think correctly.

Waiting for Christmas

And so day after day, December, the Christmas month is passing by us. It is time for emptying our wallets, challenges of our patience in stores while we are moving between people and shelves, everywhere crowded by Christmas merchandise. 

Unnoticed - from year to year, December is the same: an urgent, wasteful and tiresome. Somehow less and less remains longing of the miracle waiting. More and more we feel the rush and stress, although our bodies together with nature are experiencing the energy losses. 

It is therefore not surprising that in recent times many talk about Christmas inflation. If we not value communication, tradition, relationships, the peace of Advent,  Christmas celebrations include depreciation: many expensive gifts, marketing shares, purchase fevers, achieving higher turnover, but little attention and warmth to each other.

 
However, it seems to me that there is a certain comfort and fun associated with mountains of garlands on the Christmas trees, Christmas tunes and Christmas movies. That, waiting for the Christmas, we all are connected by something more than the visible and familiar relationships. Something what the cold, rainy and gloomy nights changes into the expecting and promising. Something what convinces us, that in the end everything will be fine. Something what changes us, moves, refreshes...

Happy waiting for Christmas!

Life is a bitch

Unfortunately, I have not life proofing program, which would underlined in red all mistakes and allowed to return to correct them. No, I do not. Like I have no time machine or magic mirror, which magically change my image I see everyday to a something very magical beautiful.

Likewise, I can not click my fingers and become constant happy. I’m old fashioned, but I believe that happiness we must to tame, rather than trying to catch and forcibly insert into a closed cage. In such way happiness will always remain a stranger and not become a part of us. It is like saying that birds born in the cage, think that fluttering is a disease. I have a lot of strange theories about life in general. Maybe it is in order to justify my not justifiable sadness, maybe just because I believe only in my own truths, which all others fail to dislodge from me...

Are you strong willed person?

What is strong willed person? For me it is man, guided by discipline and purposefully going toward the goal. What does it mean in reality to have strong will? I guess you had heard in some kind of conversation such question: "how you have so much will?" Usually after these words come others – "I would not be able to do so..." It seems like a solid will is just an exclusive grace, provided not for everyone. 

Strong will is idealized and considered as inspirational, but people are claiming that they had no will, believe that in order to become strong willed person, they must to overcome long way of limitation, put in permanent efforts. 

I think right are those who claim that a strong will can be developed by everyone, just need discipline yourself. Most importantly how we understand will and how we develop it.

Spread the love and harmony

In ancient treatises are noted that the only performing our nature, doing what we are created for, we can be happy. According to the structure of the body, we can understand what we need to do. Dog’s duty is to defend a host, guard the home. The tree’s duty is to rip fruits and so on. To be a woman means to spread the beauty, love and harmony around you. With their inner and outer beauty woman also calms the mind of their men. The woman is a bearer of the beauty, love and harmony in the family and in society.

Thus, it seems that to be beautiful woman is not just a silly whim, woman instinctively feels that it is hereditary and this wish is one of her properties that must be disclosed. Some women are chasing the only outer beauty, losing any common sense and having fallen into the extremes. Other women evaluate and promote the inner beauty also.

What is harmonious person? It is when outer beauty is coinciding with the beauty of the soul. I think everyone noticed that the both in some way related, but not necessarily. Although our look can tell a lot about our character, our inclinations and other features.

Negative thoughts affect our health

Many health troubles and diseases lie in our negative thoughts. It is necessary to purposefully achieve desired objectives, that would become our actions and then become visible results. Everyone can easily change his way of life, he only need to begin put efforts. 

In my opinion, the belief that medicine is all-powerful, is completely false. We need ourselves care about it, some efforts should be taken to prevent diseases and stay healthy.

 We do not think about future diseases that we may get, but when it comes we ask why we got it, why it is me, not anyone else? Our body must to serve us, but somehow many of us start to slave for body. Stay healthy and cheer up and care about your NOW.

Modern human sense of smell

Modern human sense of smell is pretty bad. People who can easy recognize thousands different smells are rare ones. It is because around us is a lot of artificial flavors, whose molecules deaden true smells. Our sense of smell is weakening also because of aging' changes, and because of the polluted air. That leads to fact that urban people sense is worse than those who live in rural areas. 

An enormous influence on the ability to smell makes our diet – not a pungent onion or garlic, but a fat makes problems for our sense of smell. That is what scientists have proved.

On the other hand, the smell has long been considered less important for human survival, and for its exploring, developing received less attention than vision or hearing. After all, we have very little words to describe the smell and borrow them from art and music. 

Some scientists say that people feel pheromones, others say that they can not be smelled. But that we can’t live with someone if we do not like his smell, I have no doubt.