March 25, 2018

Harmful phrases that we say without thinking to daughters

parenting

It is said that the words we say to our children later become their inner voice. Therefore, when speaking with the children we should weigh every sentence. Let parents treat by words rather than crush self-confidence and encourage to plunge into damaging relationships.
How often parents and especially mother say to her daughter: “He behaves so because he likes you”. If to delve in memory, almost every girl will remember such situation when coming home complained to adults that a classmate or neighbor took her items, pushed her, named not in nice words, and relatives only smiled explaining that “he just shows his sympathy.”
Maybe this time they guessed the boy’s motives, but in such way they sent the wrong message to daughter. Indirectly put into her head, that all delicate feelings are accompanied by the opposite sex abuse (physical or psychological), encourage to keep contact with the perpetrator and suffer silently. One of the consequences can be very sad – adult girl will stuck in harmful relationships with violent partners.
The same applies to adults that still joke “if beats, means love”. Do we really think so, and we want our daughters believe it?
“This is not women affair”. We live in the twenty-first century, when women create spaceships, and men take parental vacation and stay at home to take care of the baby. Separating works or hobbies into “male” and “female”, we press daughters into frames and limit their professional choices in the future.
“I’m thick and ugly”. Not for nothing they say that children are a reflection of parents’ behavior. If mom every day before the mirror will try to hide the abdomen and mask even the smallest wrinkles, do not be surprised that her daughter will negatively talk about her appearance. Only by own example parents can teach to love he body and develop healthy self-confidence.

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