Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

March 25, 2018

Harmful phrases that we say without thinking to daughters

parenting

It is said that the words we say to our children later become their inner voice. Therefore, when speaking with the children we should weigh every sentence. Let parents treat by words rather than crush self-confidence and encourage to plunge into damaging relationships.
How often parents and especially mother say to her daughter: “He behaves so because he likes you”. If to delve in memory, almost every girl will remember such situation when coming home complained to adults that a classmate or neighbor took her items, pushed her, named not in nice words, and relatives only smiled explaining that “he just shows his sympathy.”
Maybe this time they guessed the boy’s motives, but in such way they sent the wrong message to daughter. Indirectly put into her head, that all delicate feelings are accompanied by the opposite sex abuse (physical or psychological), encourage to keep contact with the perpetrator and suffer silently. One of the consequences can be very sad – adult girl will stuck in harmful relationships with violent partners.
The same applies to adults that still joke “if beats, means love”. Do we really think so, and we want our daughters believe it?
“This is not women affair”. We live in the twenty-first century, when women create spaceships, and men take parental vacation and stay at home to take care of the baby. Separating works or hobbies into “male” and “female”, we press daughters into frames and limit their professional choices in the future.
“I’m thick and ugly”. Not for nothing they say that children are a reflection of parents’ behavior. If mom every day before the mirror will try to hide the abdomen and mask even the smallest wrinkles, do not be surprised that her daughter will negatively talk about her appearance. Only by own example parents can teach to love he body and develop healthy self-confidence.

Do not destroy the life of your child


How often do you get to see the scenes when parents lose their patience in a public place, begin to shout at their child, even shake him twitch. I can never calm look to such scenes. Why such parents “knock out” all the happiness of their child? Why they do not evaluate the short time of child’s life, when can be everything for them? And then we wonder why kids grow up “broken”.

To love your child, nurture him, to play with him – these are tasks which can handle not only the super parents. This may to do all parents. Always, without exception. There is nothing special. I am a mother who loves his child and will do everything that my child always would feel good, safe, that he would be healthy. I’m far from being a perfect mother. But good enough that I would give my kid to understand that in any real life circumstances, he can feel well. Why? Therefore, that I realize what the influence makes a parents to the child’s life and to his self-confidence. I understand that everything what I do and what say, the child absorbs like a sponge – both positive and negative things. I do not understand only one – why so many parents are lost about nurturing and educating their children, why they do not give a right example for their children.

Your face brightens up when you see your child early morning, or when you return from work, even if you feel tired? Do you realize that your child’s moral values are based most on what they see on your face, on your actions, on your words to them? Do you understand that the child considers his self esteem very much based on in what the words you talk about him: never say you are stupid, you are silly, you are bawler, you are an idiot. People very often begin to comply with the given labels, and no one wants that his child would be stupid one. How often do you say to your child that he has done the silliest thing, which could only come up with? This is the most stupid thing you could do to your child. Do you believe that your child is an idiot? But your child believes if you say it to him. Think about it.

Anyone will believe that you cannot back out for 20 minutes from your computer or TV, and to play with the child? It is time to realize that the level of children’s trust in parents depends entirely on the fact how much they are playing with them and how heavily involved in the game process? Do you understand the damage that is done to children, when you do not play with them every day?

Do you believe these stupid and cheap excuses that anger sometimes, maybe often, is necessary for the educational process? Do you understand that anger is an emotion practically always of those people who seek to control others, but cannot control themselves? Do you notice how quickly your child break down and become disobedient, when the anger reigns the family? What you want from your child? That he would absolutely obey you and would fear you?

Do you realize the power of the touch? Do you understand the relationship between you and child when you begin to caress him, hug him, and kiss him before the sleep? Your child is the unique and priceless soul entrusted to your concerns, and feels everything very sensitively. Everything what you say, will be reflected in their abilities, success, happiness and in all future life.

Understand that children make mistakes, many mistakes. Never upbraid of the child’s mistakes or failures. It is easy to humiliate a child. It’s time to tell the kids that you love them. And repeat it constantly. It’s time to enjoy their endless questions, sounding from morning till evening. And the inability to do everything as fast as you would like. Enjoy their facial expressions and incorrectly spoken words. It is time to celebrate everything that makes your children.

It is time to ask yourself what you can do that could become a good parent. Arrange priorities. And indeed become the best parent. It is time to show your sons the example of how to behave with a woman, and your daughters to show what behavior is to be expected from a man. It is time to show generosity, sympathy and compassion. It is time on your example to show children what is a healthy way of life, gender roles, and true social norms. It is time to realize that such label as milksop to the child – it’s insane. Children have their own opinions and do not shove stereotypes to them.

Do not be rude to your sons. Talk quietly with your daughters. What you wish to your child? That a child would have friends in the school and self confidence? Is it elected class president, and he will feel that it is worth more? We can give children tools for social survival.

You must understand what the impact you do to your children when it comes to one thing and doing another? You must help to choose, to teach openly share point of view and to live according to own principles. It is not your affair to tell our children what he should think. But you can help him to think correctly.

October 12, 2015

Are you strong willed person?



strong will


What is strong willed person? For me it is man, guided by discipline and purposefully going toward the goal. What does it mean in reality to have strong will? I guess you had heard in some kind of conversation such question: "how you have so much will?" Usually after these words come others – "I would not be able to do so..." It seems like a solid will is just an exclusive grace, provided not for everyone. 

Strong will is idealized and considered as inspirational, but people are claiming that they had no will, believe that in order to become strong willed person, they must to overcome long way of limitation, put in permanent efforts. 

I think right are those who claim that a strong will can be developed by everyone, just need discipline yourself. Most importantly how we understand will and how we develop it.

December 14, 2014

We have to choose between what is right and what is easy

lifestyle-of-the-world



In our life we are making a lot of decisions. It is possible as we live in a free world, and we have the right to self-determination in all areas of our life. Making decisions can be very easy and very difficult. If we have only few cents in our pocket, it is easy to decide if we want to buy a bar of chocolate. However, if we are very hungry and still want to buy Coca Cola, which also costs the same amount the decision becomes more difficult. Right? 

Self-determination means our choice. Deciding what we want sometimes means we have to give up on something. Sometimes we know what we refuse, sometimes not.

There is one decision, which constantly recurs in our lives. It's a choice between what is morally right and what is morally wrong. Like all our other choice, and that choice can be very easy or very difficult.

In the childhood some decisions came for us by others - parents, teachers, etc. Family members may say, well if you act not good will be bad for you! In this way we learn to behave properly - to share, to tell the truth, be polite.
 
When people see that we are honest, we are gaining their trust. People appreciate our friendship despite so maybe sometimes they disagree with our opinion. They can rely on us.

The choice gives a sense of control. The decision seems depends only on us and only we ourselves choose which direction to turn our fortunes.

It is easier to make right decisions when we are healthy and feel good. A bright mind and a healthy body make a big difference. Only then can we fully experience the full joy of life.

Help others

lifestyle-of world

 
I guess you have heard this saying of Seneca: "No one can lead a happy life if he thinks only of himself and turns everything to his own purposes. You should live for the other person if you wish to live for yourself."
I think it is very true words.

All the people living in this world are different not only in their race, language or religious beliefs, but more importantly they differ in their character and attitude to life problems. Some people are selfish, caring only for their interests and problems, others, meanwhile, forget about themselves and taking care about others.

We all live in a society, we are surrounded by other people with whom we want to or not, still have more or less communicating. Thus, a person can not live only for him selves. Life is short, so it should be shared with others, just sharing the goodness and you will get it back.

When I think about online friends, it is the same,  we must focus all our networking efforts on helping the people we are contacting and adding to friends. We should start by focusing on being friendly and helpful. This is the number one tactic we can use to build our network.

Simply spread information in a friendly and helpful way. Building our network is the same as building friends. Be interested in what they are doing and offer friendly and helpful suggestions when you can. 

To achieve true long term success we should help enough other people get what they want.
 Those who learn to truly Help others are the ones who are very successful in online marketing.

I love that feeling of helping others!

Changing

easy earn for life


I did not know what the love is.
I wanted to know it, had a big wish get to know it, but from this went nothing good. Love simply came unexpectedly, when I stopped to look for it. I let everything flow downstream and love 
itself came up on my shore. Sail on the shoal.

I did not know what a real pain is. 
Once upon a time it seemed to me that it is when you fall down and hurt your knees. And now? Now the pain is someone's else loss, someone collapse and leave the ruins.
 Better I would have my knees scraped off till blood...

I did not know what the real cold is.
  Cold of heart and soul. Previously I thought here is nothing worse than the winter frenzy and snowstorms. Since from this cold sting my fingers and face, but now seems like better all environment would has been covered with frost, than to feel the cold within myself.

I did not know what real happiness is. 
Well, once upon a time I was happy after receiving a new toy or candy. Everything is changing. Now I am feeling happy not from sweet candy, but from loving man next to me. I'm happy not because I have many nice things, but because I have real friends. Happiness lies in much more 
simpler things than in amount of the things we have.

In past it was otherwise.
Easier?
I do not know.

December 7, 2014

Motivate Yourself

Motivate Yourself




“Success is a journey, not a destination” it is words of B. Sweetland.

Everyone wants to be successful. But to be successful we must have an important thing, and that is motivation. 

Motivation is what gets you started. 
Habit is what keeps you going.

After getting started we often face the problem of keep moving. If we don’t have the motivation, we will be easily discouraged when we meet obstacles along the way.

The journey to achieve success may seems like a difficult one for people who are not motivated.
But those who are motivated will have different perspective.

Motivation is very important. It can make the difference between our success and failure. Everyone has his own methods for which keep him focused and determined to keep working towards his goals.

We all have dreams and future goals that we want to achieve, but why is it so hard to get motivated? It is not easy to get motivated for success for many of us, but if we are taking right steps then we can achieve it.

Winners are people who always go through any challenge and difficulties because of their motivation. Losers, otherwise, are those who can’t go through challenges and difficulties since
 they lack the necessary motivation. 

Difficult challenges will not disappear and will always be here, but our motivation will help us 
overcome them successfully.

Do you are motivated enough to succeed in your life?